Monthly archive

May 2018

Freeway noise solved with an earful

in Latest News

After nearly two decades of inaction, it is believed a solution is at hand to deal with the incessant noise on the Mornington Peninsula Freeway.

“Things seem to have become worse, not better” said a spokesperson, on the condition of anonymity. “We didn’t realise that a massive increase in traffic and chomping up all the vegetation would result in more noise. Who would have thought it?”

Members of a Safety Beach action group are frustrated that VicRoads has done little to curb increased traffic noise on the Mornington Peninsula Freeway. They say the noise deprives them of sleep, causes health issues and has lowered their standard of living.

“We hear them and fully understand. While we’re completing the removal of vegetation along this strip of freeway, we are looking at new works to plant vegetation along this strip of freeway”.

“This should decrease noise and air pollution, sun and traffic glare, reduce cross winds, decreased temperatures on the road and even reduce potential flooding. It really is a wonderful idea.”

Asked by The Public Record’s Derrick DiMaggio how long it would take for this new vegetation to return to the effectiveness of the vegetation that was just removed, the spokesperson said “about two decades”.

“It is not as simple as just replanting a few trees. We need to encourage wildlife back. We never knew how much road noise possums actually absorbed until we’d mulched them”.

With Her Majesty’s Press always keen to fully understand the situation, The Public Record’s Derrick DiMaggio was dispatched to investigate.

“I couldn’t just stand on the sidelines and observe. To find out the extent of the problem, I needed to immerse myself in it. I decided to sleep the night in a paddock behind Safety Beach. I can tell you, I woke at 3am after having a nightmare that I was being chased by a screaming banshee. It was horrible.”

“Once I had calmed down, I realised the nightmare was caused by the unbearable sound of traffic, and the tears of homeless possums. It was an unforgiveable reality”.

DiMaggio sent an open letter to “the authorities” demanding immediate action and got the following statement back:

“We have heard your compelling argument. We accept the error of our ways, and the grave inconvenience we have caused local residents. We will fix this NOW. We intend issuing all residents between Mt Martha and Rosebud with earplugs to solve this problem once and for all.’

As residents sleep blissfully from now on, they’ll be able to dream about what has turned out to be a win for commonsense over bungling bureaucracy.

New site sought for Mornington Pier

in Latest News

Authorities appear to be at a loss when it comes to preventing the constant damage and consequent repairs to Mornington Pier.

Frustration at the situation has led to rumours of a fix to remedy the situation once and for all.

“It is obviously impossible to keep repairing the pier year after year as it gets destroyed time and time again,” explained a government official on the grounds of anonymity.

“So we are currently looking at removing the pier and placing it somewhere less likely to be battered around”.

Pressed by our reporter, Derrick DiMaggio, as to the possible new location of Mornington Pier, the official appeared to mumble “Moorooduc… perhaps?” under his breathe.

Despite a distinct lack of water, Moorooduc would ensure the pier would be safe from the winter storms that leave most of the pier on the bottom of the bay every time they swing through.

“We have to look at the bright side,” said the government official. “Most of the pier lying on the bottom of the bay has been a wonderful artificial reef, and a boon for fish breeding. It would make wonderful fishing…. were the pier to fish from not mostly on the bottom of the bay”.

The original wave screens were damaged by major storms in July and October 2016. Violent storms in previous years inflicted similar damage.

The suggestion that building a breakwater on the site to protect not only the pier but the yachts moored nearby was discounted quickly by the official.

“That is not going to happen. We’re not prepared to admit defeat here.”

But when pressed by reporter DiMaggio about the ongoing loss of yachts, the official offered what seems like a viable solution.

“We wouldn’t be against the idea of yacht owners moving their yachts to Moorooduc too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Compromise takes pool out of the deep end

in Latest News
One of the designs proposed for the Southern Peninsula Aquatic Centre when it was proposed for the Rosebud Foreshore

After years of arguments and ill-feeling, it seems that the Rosebud pool’s rival camps have finally shaken hands and agreed to compromise, allowing the project to proceed.

The latest bitter arguments centred around whether to make Rosebud’s new pool an Olympic sized 50-metre, or stick with the cheaper 25- metre option.

A source from inside council has exclusively told The Public Record that both sides have agreed on a compromise, and the pool will now be 37.5 metres long.

The project has long divided the community.

First there was wrangling over the location of the pool. The council decided the favoured site was on the Rosebud Foreshore. That was opposed by many, and eventually, in mid 2013, the shire dumped that location as the preferered site.

After Besgrove Street was decided as the favoured location, then the fighting began over the length of the pool.

“This is a win for common sense” said an anonymous source from within the shire. “Compromising the length at 37.5-metres will keep everybody happy”.

The pool will now be fast-tracked at the Besgrove Street site.

The cost of the aquatic centre was estimated at $28.4 million-$30.7 million, depending on it having a 25-metre or 50-metre pool. Now the length has been settled at 37.5-metres, it is expected the pool will cost $29.55 million.

Mornington Peninsula Shire Mayor Councillor Bryan Payne thanked the community members who have already provided their thoughts.

“We are inviting community members to attend a series of pop up sessions throughout the whole of the peninsula where you will have the ability to speak directly with Shire staff and have all your questions answered”.

Seawinds Ward Councillor Antonella Celi said “our community has been wanting an aquatic facility for the southern peninsula for a very long time – this is a very exciting time indeed for all involved”.

Seal takes stand against gas terminal

in Latest News

A seal has taken the extraordinary step of coming ashore at Hastings and attempted to present a petition against AGL’s plan to moor a floating gas terminal in Crib Point.

As one of the only sea-based creatures with the ability to walk on land, it is believed the seal was given the dangerous task to traverse the wetlands to present the document.

It is believed the male New Zealand long nose fur seal was heading to Greg Hunt’s offices.

The seal was confronted by a member of the AGL Marine Response Unit who, accompanied by a specialist interpreter, tried to negotiate with the seal, but he refused to be moved back to the aquatic environment from whence he came.

We shall not be moved.

The boardwalk was blocked for over eight hours as negotiations took place. Mums with their kids on BMX bikes were left banked up at either end of the boardwalk unable to enjoy an autumn ride.

TPR’s own Derrick DiMaggio was on scene and rang through an exclusive report.

“The seal is as mad as hell, and is going to take a leg off if someone isn’t careful. He is growling and I can smell his breathe from 15 metres away.”

Eventually the seal made a run for it up Kings Creek, heading towards the football ground. It is not known if he intended to take that route to Mr Hunt’s office or if he’d abandoned his cause and was heading to the Hastings Club for a parma and to drop a few coins into the pokies.

While work has started on preparing the existing jetty at Crib Point for the more than 300 metre long floating storage regasification unit (FSRU), no government approvals have yet been given.

More importantly, it seems, marine life has not be consulted.

Fighting back against fake news

in Latest News

In this world of fake news, it is time to take a stand.

We all know that newspapers can’t be trusted. They tell us what they want us to know. And their version of the truth is peddled by the powerful and manipulative who run their own agendas.

Here at The Public Record, we are committed to giving you the truth behind the fake news stories you are fed every day.

The Public Record is led by one of the Mornington Peninsula’s most trusted and experienced journalists, Derrick DiMaggio.

DiMaggio is widely acknowledged to be the “Julian Assange” of the Mornington Peninsula. But without the white hair and Ecuadoran embassy.

He leads a team of the brightest journalistic minds in the constant fight for what is right, no matter what the consequences. He’ll cut through the white noise, the fluff, and the agenda to bring you the only source of information that can be trusted.

The Public Record.

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