Opponents of Tyabb airfield celebrate win

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In stunning news sure to please anti-airport proponents in Tyabb, moves are underway to stop aircraft use at Tyabb Airport completely.

It is believed an international consortium are looking at a compulsory acquisition of the the entire airport under a United Nations mandate.

“We needed a Southern Hemisphere base, and quickly,” said Nathaniel Croimoux, head of international space organisation Mars Resupply Mission (MRM).

“We’ll stop the use of fixed wing aircraft completely if we manage to pull this off, which will be a total win for those in the community that are opposed to the airport.”

Mars Supply Mission are a contracted re-supplier to the intended missions to colonize Mars, and intend to build an international space-port at Tyabb used for the launch of reusable heavy-lift rockets.

“Mars is not the moon,” he said. “We won’t be going there for a few days and returning, we’ll be going there to build a new world. The cargo requirements will be in the millions of tonnes.”

MRM have been tasked with the mammoth task of supply and resupply to this “new world”.

“We’ll be transforming Tyabb Airport into a Southern Hemisphere space-port, supporting the continuous launch of these heavy-lift rockets to support the missions,” said Mr Croimoux.

“It will be wonderful. With the re-usability of rockets pioneered by the likes of SpaceX, we can launch, re-land the rockets, and launch again within hours. It is literally a matter of refilling the tanks with RP-1 and oxygen and strapping them to another payload”.

It is believed the heavy-lift rockets intended to be used will be able to transport up to 20 tonnes each on the nine month journey to Mars before autonomously landing there. Once unloaded, they can relaunch in the low gravity environment of Mars before returning and re-landing at Tyabb.

Ready to blast off: The heavy-rocket, designated “Yabbie One” that will be used to resupply future missions to Mars. Picture: Supplied

Asked by Derrick DiMaggio from The Public Record about the noise, Croimoux said, “There will be noise at Tyabb, I’m not going to deny it. But only for a few minutes at a time. People in Melbourne will hardly hear the launches at all, and in Swan Hill, they won’t hear a thing!”

“We’ve done an extensive door-knocking survey and have taken note of resident’s feedback. As a result we will ensure that launches are limited to less than 12 a day, and only between the hours of 2am and 11pm.”

Croimoux declined requests by The Public Record for a copy of the survey results.

“It will be terrific. The people of Tyabb will be filled with pride as their homes shake and their bedrooms light up with the blinding flare of another rocket heading for Mars,” said Mr Croimoux.

“They’ll be so happy to see the back of those annoying airplanes, and in knowing they are part of history in the making”.

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