The management of The Public Record have taken the unprecedented step of going public hoping to find out information on their missing journalist, Derrick DiMaggio.
Ten days ago, the following was scrawled on a fax received at TPR headquarters:
“Have accepted assignment as war correspondent for current civil conflict in Westeros. Unprecedented experience dealing with soulless people invading our lands from the north. Happens every summer on the peninsula. If Winterfell falls, next they’ll be jumping off The Pillars and taking our car parking spots. Must go north to provide strategic advice and FULL coverage. DM.”
Nothing has been heard of Derrick DiMaggio since.
“We are really concerned for Derrick’s welfare,” said a spokesman for The Public Record. “He has not been in contact with friends, family or his parole officer.”
“We did receive a post-pack with a shard of glass and a note that simply said ‘Dragonglass – Used’.”
“On closer inspection, it appeared to be glass from a broken Franks Red Hot Sauce bottle. Indeed, Gavin from accounts tasted the red substance and claimed that, while never having tasted White Walker blood, it seemed to taste very much like hot sauce.”
“Another clue to Derrick’s whereabouts is that the package was postmarked Karingal, so it appears he hasn’t made it any further north than there”.
“Indeed, we had a call about someone that matched Derrick’s description yelling loudly at a staff member at the Karingal TAB. Apparently the staff member had refused to accept the agitated man’s cashier’s cheque for $10,000 from the Bank of Lichtenstein. Bystanders said the man kept screaming he wanted to plunge all $10,000 on Julia Banks to take out Flinders at 6.5:1”.
Anyone who has sighted Derrick can contact The Public Record.
