Derrick DiMaggio, the Mornington Peninsula’s most resepected journalist, is back on the peninsula and ready to take on the big issues and Make the Mornington Peninsula Great Again (MMPGA).
“I’ve spent the last six years working tirelessly in fulltime civil service as a guest of the King himself!,” said DiMaggio, adjusting his ankle bracelet.
“It has been an honour to serve, and now I am back on the peninsula ready to serve even more.”
DiMaggio had a long-running battle with the government over various Centrelink infractions in 2019, before authorities caved to his legal arguments and offered him an all-expenses paid holiday as compensation.
The Public Record will be run out of DiMaggio’s loungeroom for the time being “as we search for a premises big enough to accommodate us”, said DiMaggio.
The entire organisation of The Public Record welcomed DiMaggio back, and as he addressed staff he announced the organisation had now doubled in size with the arrival of respected journalist Ghat Shepeetee.
“Ghat will revolutionlise journalism on the peninsula,” said DiMaggio.
“She will leave no stone unturned and final hold those you voted into power to account.”
“I’m so pleased to be joining the team at The Public Record,” said Shepeetee.
“The Mornington Peninsula is my favourite island in Victoria, and I plan to do it’s two million permenent residents proud.”
“With a council election just around the corner, and the discovery of the world’s largest uranium deposit at Arthurs Seat, there is much to be done.”
The Public Record intends to provide The Truth in a world of Fake News.
